I've been thinking a lot lately about a connection between spirituality and slavery. Not the spirituality that can be found in slavery (whole other can o' worms), but more along the lines of noticing how many people I come across who are in a Master/slave relationship are also deeply spiritual people.
At first I thought maybe it was maybe a case of, being nonconformist in multiple areas is easy once you are nonconformist in one. I'll use me as an example. I was involved in research and intermittent participation in Gorean and D/s relationships long before I became a pagan. Did I become a pagan (a nonconformist religion insofar as it is not the "norm" in our society) because first becoming Gorean (nonconformist way of living, and nonconformist way to relate with others) was the first step down the path of nonconformity? No, I don't think so.
What I have come to believe is that it is a more a case of - once you begin to live your life more naturally in one area it becomes easier to live more naturally in another area. I see a big correlation within myself between being Pagan and being a slave. As a Pagan, my spiritual life focuses a great deal on the natural world - the Earth and what fills it - the changing of the seasons, the phases of the moon, the divine that is inherent in all things on this great blue marble we call home. I have noticed in the last couple years as I deepened my study into Paganism that I have grown more appreciative of the world around me, and have noticed especially this year, my body falling into more of a rhythm with the natural world.
When I first stumbled into a Gorean chat room back many years ago by pure mistake, it was truly an act of serendipity. Clicking into the "wrong" chat room that day changed my outlook on many things. First and foremost, it lead me to read and research - Gor, BDSM, etc - and realize that I was not alone, I was not a "freak" for my desires. In the last couple years as I have finally been able to put research more into practice it has been an interesting ride. As the slave of a Gorean, I am now living life more naturally - in a way more natural to me - than I was before.
One other correlation I noticed between my particular brand of spirituality and my relationship with my Master are that both celebrate the duality of nature. My religion worships God and Goddess. My slavery recognizes Master and slave. Goreans in general recognize and celebrate the differences between Male and Female. One thing that many seem to misunderstand about Goreans is that we don't think women are "lesser" or "inferior" to men in any way, shape or form. We just think that men and women are different. Neither is better than the other, its comparing apples to oranges. Men are dominant in the Gorean culture, yes - Dominant to the slaves definitely, also Dominant to the Free Women - but that does not mean the women aren't as human, or as smart, or as creative, etc.
OK, I'm going a bit far afield. But I am still wrapping my mind around this new train of thought I have had and I am loving the similarities I am seeing. I have to wrap this post up for now but I will revisit this topic at a later date if I have any new thoughts on the matter.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Greetings - and other rituals
Yesterday was a good day!
Master & I have been having very interesting discussions lately about our Master/slave relationship. One thing that we realized was that we may have been harming our dynamic despite the best of intentions, by trying too hard to seperate our "real life" from the online roleplay world. As some know, Master & I met via an online Gorean roleplay we both took part in. Now mind you we both knew it was roleplay and kept it seperate from our real lives. We played characters there, and while our characters did get along pretty well, we didn't start "dating" or anything until after we had spent time together as ourselves, face to face. Thus said, I know that I have been making a strong effort in my slavery to "be kimaya, and not [character's name]". I've been wondering about that a bit so I broached it to Master. He not only understood what I meant but thinks he has been doing the same: stifling progress he would like to see, with the goal of not filling our dynamic with roleplay.
Out of curiousity, I took a few minutes to brainstorm what things I recall from my time in online Gor, that don't currently occur much (if at all) in my offline Gorean relationship. Aside from the obvious things like... there are no tarns, paga, blackwine... etc, here are some of the things I came up with:
-kneel when Free enter
-third person speech
-Master/Mistress to all Free
-dress/groom sensuously (i.e. "silks", bells, etc)
-formal service of food and drink
-karta before entering rooms
That's not a complete list, but just a few items that jumped out at me. I am going to address each one briefly and share some of my thoughts:
-kneel when Free enter
In the roleplay venue I used to participate in, the rule of thumb was that if a Free entered the room you were in and you weren't already kneeling - you kneel (nadu or tower depending on your owner's preference) and greet them.
This is definitely something that can be feasible offline at least in certain settings - for example the apartment we live in. I tried it out last night by waiting for Master in nadu and suffice to say it went over veeeeery well!
-third person speech
Again, in the roleplay venue I hale from, slaves were required to speak (type) in the third person, period. This is something that I am aware does carry over into offline Gor at least in certain houses and relationships. My Master personally doesn't choose to use this (at least at this point). However I am able to see the merit in at least using it temporarily as a training tool - it certainly forces you to take the time to think before you speak!
-Master/Mistress to all Free
In the online city I went to the slaves addressed all Free as Master or Mistress. This I know is one big difference between BDSM slavery and Gorean slavery and honestly it is something I have struggled with. But if is definitely something that carries into the offline Gorean community and I follow this custom when corresponding with Goreans, or posting on Gorean forums and message boards.
-dress/groom sensuously (i.e. "silks", bells, etc)
Slaves in the online haunt I frequented were always dressed very provacatively - usually in short silken tunics with the hem cut up to here, and the neckline plunging down to there, etc. Many slaves were also adorned in belled anklets, or bracelets, sometimes other jewelry, chains/siriks, etc. In offline life, it can be hard to dress very sexy all the time. I would get called into my manager's office if I showed up at work even in something as relatively mild as a shirt that is too low cut, due to dress codes. But this is something that can be applied in the privacy of one's own home, and I am also trying to make an effort to pay more attention to my appearance when Master & I go out to certain social events.
-formal service of food and drink
Aah the hallmark of online Gor (at least the city I was in) - the serves! Not only did I get pretty good at performing these online serves, I eventually was in charge of training the slaves new to the city in the service protocol. I think that a lot of the formal service protocol is actually quiet lovely, and can be done in offline life, though there a few things that don't carry over. And it certainly doesn't take nearly as long to do a formal serve offline as it does online! I have only done full formal Gorean service of food and drink on a few occasions. I usually feel pretty clumsy (its much easier to type gracefully than move gracefully) but I love the ritual of it and I believe that the Masters I have served have enjoyed it as well.
-karta before entering rooms
This is something I never heard of before online Gor. At the city I visited, before a slave could officially enter a room a Free was already in - i.e. you had clicked into the chat room but you couldn't participate; you werne't "there" - a slave had to assume a position called karta (not directly from the books - although I've heard that it is actually just another name for the third obeisance position) - and beg entry to the room. Once permission was granted the slave would rise up to kneeling in the doorway, thank for the permission, greet all the free, and then they could enter. I have only ever done this in real life once - and that was the first time I visited a Master's home. He had me kneel on the doorstep (he was standing right there and it was pitch black out), move into karta position, and beg entry. I can tell you that it was very psychologically intense (would I be seen? oh my goodness I am actually begging a man to enter his home! etc) and I can see merit in using such a thing on some occasions (some = any that the Free deems).
All right - I think I have succeeded in my goal of making a post so long that it made up for my lack of updates! I do hope that if anyone reads this they will feel very free leave a comment if you'd like to chat about it. I am always looking to find new people to discuss the Gorean lifestyle with.
Master & I have been having very interesting discussions lately about our Master/slave relationship. One thing that we realized was that we may have been harming our dynamic despite the best of intentions, by trying too hard to seperate our "real life" from the online roleplay world. As some know, Master & I met via an online Gorean roleplay we both took part in. Now mind you we both knew it was roleplay and kept it seperate from our real lives. We played characters there, and while our characters did get along pretty well, we didn't start "dating" or anything until after we had spent time together as ourselves, face to face. Thus said, I know that I have been making a strong effort in my slavery to "be kimaya, and not [character's name]". I've been wondering about that a bit so I broached it to Master. He not only understood what I meant but thinks he has been doing the same: stifling progress he would like to see, with the goal of not filling our dynamic with roleplay.
Out of curiousity, I took a few minutes to brainstorm what things I recall from my time in online Gor, that don't currently occur much (if at all) in my offline Gorean relationship. Aside from the obvious things like... there are no tarns, paga, blackwine... etc, here are some of the things I came up with:
-kneel when Free enter
-third person speech
-Master/Mistress to all Free
-dress/groom sensuously (i.e. "silks", bells, etc)
-formal service of food and drink
-karta before entering rooms
That's not a complete list, but just a few items that jumped out at me. I am going to address each one briefly and share some of my thoughts:
-kneel when Free enter
In the roleplay venue I used to participate in, the rule of thumb was that if a Free entered the room you were in and you weren't already kneeling - you kneel (nadu or tower depending on your owner's preference) and greet them.
This is definitely something that can be feasible offline at least in certain settings - for example the apartment we live in. I tried it out last night by waiting for Master in nadu and suffice to say it went over veeeeery well!
-third person speech
Again, in the roleplay venue I hale from, slaves were required to speak (type) in the third person, period. This is something that I am aware does carry over into offline Gor at least in certain houses and relationships. My Master personally doesn't choose to use this (at least at this point). However I am able to see the merit in at least using it temporarily as a training tool - it certainly forces you to take the time to think before you speak!
-Master/Mistress to all Free
In the online city I went to the slaves addressed all Free as Master or Mistress. This I know is one big difference between BDSM slavery and Gorean slavery and honestly it is something I have struggled with. But if is definitely something that carries into the offline Gorean community and I follow this custom when corresponding with Goreans, or posting on Gorean forums and message boards.
-dress/groom sensuously (i.e. "silks", bells, etc)
Slaves in the online haunt I frequented were always dressed very provacatively - usually in short silken tunics with the hem cut up to here, and the neckline plunging down to there, etc. Many slaves were also adorned in belled anklets, or bracelets, sometimes other jewelry, chains/siriks, etc. In offline life, it can be hard to dress very sexy all the time. I would get called into my manager's office if I showed up at work even in something as relatively mild as a shirt that is too low cut, due to dress codes. But this is something that can be applied in the privacy of one's own home, and I am also trying to make an effort to pay more attention to my appearance when Master & I go out to certain social events.
-formal service of food and drink
Aah the hallmark of online Gor (at least the city I was in) - the serves! Not only did I get pretty good at performing these online serves, I eventually was in charge of training the slaves new to the city in the service protocol. I think that a lot of the formal service protocol is actually quiet lovely, and can be done in offline life, though there a few things that don't carry over. And it certainly doesn't take nearly as long to do a formal serve offline as it does online! I have only done full formal Gorean service of food and drink on a few occasions. I usually feel pretty clumsy (its much easier to type gracefully than move gracefully) but I love the ritual of it and I believe that the Masters I have served have enjoyed it as well.
-karta before entering rooms
This is something I never heard of before online Gor. At the city I visited, before a slave could officially enter a room a Free was already in - i.e. you had clicked into the chat room but you couldn't participate; you werne't "there" - a slave had to assume a position called karta (not directly from the books - although I've heard that it is actually just another name for the third obeisance position) - and beg entry to the room. Once permission was granted the slave would rise up to kneeling in the doorway, thank for the permission, greet all the free, and then they could enter. I have only ever done this in real life once - and that was the first time I visited a Master's home. He had me kneel on the doorstep (he was standing right there and it was pitch black out), move into karta position, and beg entry. I can tell you that it was very psychologically intense (would I be seen? oh my goodness I am actually begging a man to enter his home! etc) and I can see merit in using such a thing on some occasions (some = any that the Free deems).
All right - I think I have succeeded in my goal of making a post so long that it made up for my lack of updates! I do hope that if anyone reads this they will feel very free leave a comment if you'd like to chat about it. I am always looking to find new people to discuss the Gorean lifestyle with.
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