What I want?

I have been thinking about my progress as a slave a lot lately. I feel that it is perhaps misplaced for me to try and judge myself, since I do agree the only true judge of how "good" of a slave I have become is my Master, as it is he who sets the parameters for what is a "good" slave for him. However, I am the one who hears the thoughts ringing on my head, and I thought this would be a good blog post, in case any of you readers can offer insight.

I worry a LOT about what I want, and what I think I need. I am very torn on this. I know that we are bred & raised with strong self preservation instincts. And let's face it, who doesn't want to try and obtain their "wants"? However I read over and over in my research, that a good slave does not concern herself with her wants. She concerns herself with her Master's wants. The tacit understanding is that if she chooses wisely when giving herself to an Owner, that the Owner will maintain his property by looking out for her needs, and those wants of hers that he feels moved to fulfill. One part of my brain screams out that Owned or not, I am human. I have a "right" to have my wants fulfilled. Of course I want to see to my own needs and desires! Everyone has a right to be happy! etc... etc... And to a degree I do agree with that as well. I don't think anyone would expect me to stay in a relationship where I wasn't happy out of some misplaced sense of "slave honor".

However I worry that I am too selfish and too focused on what I want. I know that Master orders a lot of his life around me and my wants in regards to his time/schedule, etc. And while I of course appreciate that, I think it is supposed to be the other way around it. Do I want it to change? No, not necessarily. But I don't know if I should be calling myself a slave if I am so focused on me. I know that slave = owned submissive, so I fit the criteria, but still... meh.

Master just got home, so off I go for dinner.