Naked

Hello all! This is a topic that may seem kinda weird, but it has been bouncing around in my head today. I have been trying to figure out why I have such problems being naked. (I am talking physically without clothes, not emotional/mental nakedness - that is a whole other can of post, lol) It takes me a long time to feel truly comfortable being naked around a lover/Dominant/Master/etc. I'm really not sure why. I mean, by the time we are all adults, especially adults my age (mid 20's) and Master's age (mid 30's) we have all seen plenty of naked men and naked women be it from text books, movies, pictures, or romantic encounters. In other words - it's not like no one has ever seen a naked woman before - so why I am so uptight when it is me?

Is it because I'm overweight? This is usually why I feel embarrassed, at least this is the loudest voice in my head emotionally on the issue. Then when my logic kicks in and remind me... ya know... fully clothed head to toe in a shapepless parka and jeans, someone looking at you can still see that you are overweight. it isn't like wearing clothes hides the weight. In fact in many cases - it emphasizes it! So, I don't think it is because of that. Someone seeing me in a bathing suit, or tight dress, can tell my body shape just as well as if I'm naked. So, clothes don't hide the truth there.

Is it because of my ugly scar that hovers just below my left collar bone? Nope - you can see that scar if I wear a tank top, low cut shirt, or bathing suit. And to be fair, beyond the first few months I had it, I have never really cared about my scar. I don't even think about it most of the time, and when I do, it's more of a - Aah - battle scars from my personal battle against the enemy (cancer).

So really, the only reason I can think of for why I freak out so much about being naked is simply because it has been impressed upon me my entire life that it is "bad" to be seen naked, especially certain parts. A good girl always makes sure she is covered up and "presentable". Then from middle school on in turned into - omigod, I look horrible, I am so fat, etc. Though by now I'm pretty used to my body shape. Not that I don't strive to improve, but I recognize I am still pretty even though I am overweight - and in this country, I am far from in the minority being overweight. Many are far larger than I.

Anyway... that's all for today's ramble. Anyone who has thoughts, I'd love to read them. :)