Well, when I woke up this morning, I had the unpleasant realization that I have caught whever this illness is that Master has been fighting off. I have spent the day in a variety of moods. I'm incredibly disappointed that we both had to get so sick for Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day never really mattered to me that much, but I never got to celebrate it properly before my relationship with Master. First our "date" plans shifted from Thursday to Friday because of the snow & illness. Now I guess they are just on hold indefinitely since he is still sleeping.
Be that as it may, I have tried to suck it up and be grateful that I was smart enough to call in to work so that I could rest too. And we did get a little enjoyment during his brief awake time, we got to have lunch together and watch the second part of the movie we had started last night.
When I blew it, was when it was time to grocery shop. Due to the busy weekend we have planned, and the fact we were out of.. most food, grocery shopping had to happen today. I got ready to go and asked him if he wanted to come along for the fresh air. He declined on the grounds that he needed more sleep. Did I react as a good slave and head to the store? No, instead I had to huff and puff and make some smart alec cracks and head off to the store, feeling very much the martyr, because I am sick too, but I am "rising above" to take care of business, why isn't he? etc... etc... etc....
I spent most of the time at the store feeling miserable. Not only physically, from the illness, but with the knowledge that I had been incredibly rude, selfish, un-compassionate and disrespectful. For someone who claims she is a slave, that was totally unacceptable. So.. the something new... Instead of coming home from the store still in a snit about how life isn't fair, I got home, unloaded the groceries, went and knelt next to where he was sleeping and apologized for how I had spoken. Then left him alone to sleep and found quiet things to do. Thankfully my apology was accepted, but I still feel pretty crappy for having done that.
Now I sit here at the computer, catching up a few things, and trying to think of what else to do tonight. I'm not very good at being sick. So far today I have done laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, and general tidying up. I don't know why I can't let myself just relax. I am envious of Master's ability to sleep during the daytime. I laid down for a good while but just couldn't fall asleep. I hope to go to bed early and fall asleep and actually sleep the whole night through. I think I will take some NyQuill. That stuff knocks me flat. Hopefully if I take it early enough, I'll be able to function tomorrow morning.
Rambly post from sick slave is over..... now. :)
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Dear girl...
When you turned your frustration at me this afternoon, I knew that at least part of it was from your own illness causing you trouble.
What made me so quickly accept your apology was the fact that you, in a fairly short period of time and completely on your own, realized what you had done was wrong and was willing to admit it and accept whatever I had to say about it.
Mind you, the fact that I was sick and exhausted helped me be a shade more accepting too, truth be told, but the way you handled it when you returned was the largest influence on the outcome.
I am proud of you, sweet girl.
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